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Photo via Flickr user kattebelletje. This Valentine's Day, while you couples and triads have romantic meals and cover your furniture in rose petals or whatever, the singles of the world will be firing up Netflix and a bottle of wine, and then, inevitably, glancing down at their hands, or the drawer they keep their vibrators in. Just you and me, buddy.
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When your average guy hears the word "hand job," it goes through a processing factory that spits it out to his brain as "Dry claw grip parade NOOOO. I'm tired, and I already brushed my teeth. Why are handies considered the embarrassing inbred cousin of the blow job?
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To help you get some new ideas, BuzzFeed asked people of all ages, genders, and sexualities to describe the nitty-gritty of how they actually masturbate. Here are tips from our readers with penises that you might want to try yourself. The biggest and best Os I've ever had and my hand is enjoying its vacation. I put the baggie on my cock and wank for five minutes.
The solution to all of these is diversity. Change your speed, your grip, your preferred stimulation, use your imagination sometimes, edge sometimes…whatever works for you. After a while, you can become reliant on it.